He knew God is able to help his people but he is somehow unsure if God was willing to help him.
Sometimes, we go through a place of condemnation thinking we have gone too far from God’s reach. We also don’t want to ask Him for help because we think God won’t help a disobedient, prideful, problem child.
Jared grew up in a Christian home. He has been raised with the knowledge of Jesus intact but he never really had a personal relationship with Him. Jared sought to find things that can hide his wounds and insecurities. He indulged himself with drinking, partying and the pursuit of pleasure. When nothing seemed to suffice, he buried himself with body building and it completely engulfed him to the point that he did not care of anything else–even his marriage.
Things started to go downhill from there. He did not know how to fix it and he remained prideful not to ask help from God because he doesn’t want to get disappointment. When nothing else seemed to work and his wife finally left him, he decided to seek help and refuge from God. He begged God to help him get through everything. He begged God to fix his marriage but somehow he couldn’t see the hand of God working on his behalf.
He had a choice. Either stop asking God for help or to continue to cling to him. At this point he didn’t want to face things alone. So even without a visible breakthrough he continued to hold on to God, this time, surrendering everything, no conditions, no expectations but just a pure hunger of his presence in his life. He didn’t want anything else But God. God met him at the lowest point of his life. God took away the suicidal thoughts, the depression and planted hope, joy, peace and love in his heart.